Have you ever been in the grocery store and seen a massive cucumber and giggled? Us too. Oddly enough, there are mega veggies that have defied the laws of gravity, and this isn't as rare as you'd think.
Meggies (mega veggies) are insanely large vegetables that shock farmers and have become a phenomenon amongst strangers on the internet (we're looking at you).
RELEASE THE GREENS.
Here's a fun list of some of the most giant vegetables recorded:
Okay, first, we have the world's current largest turnip. According to Guinness, Joe Atherton (the man behind the magic) has achieved this honor with his massive veggie.
Spoiler: it's 15 feet and 1.3 inches.
THAT'S A BIG TURNIP. Atherton won this award at the CANNA UK National Giant Vegetables Championship, which we had no idea was a thing. Does anyone want to go with us?
Moving to the largest zucchini, Giovanni Batista Scozzafava from Niagara Falls, Ontario, holds the prestigious title. The dimensions for this freakishly-large veggie are 8 feet and 3.3 inches.
This farmer grew the current largest zucchini recorded back in 2014, and as of now: he still holds it.
We're rooting for you, Giovanni. Keep them coming!
If you're wondering about the world's current largest celery, this title goes to Gary Heeks, a UK native.
This is another winner from the CANNA UK National Giant Vegetables Championships, so clearly: there's something CRAZY going on over there.
The celery weighs 92 pounds and 9 ounces, and it took multiple people to carry it over. Talk about a dramatic entrance.
We'd like to be carried around everywhere we go...
Moving onto the world's most giant radish, these are a little more interesting. Coming from Manabu Oono, a gardener in Japan, this veggie weighed 68 pounds and 9 ounces.
The record was set in February of 2003 and has not been beaten since.
However, do you all remember Joe Atherton from earlier? Well, he grew the world's current "longest" radish: measuring 21 feet and 11.89 inches.
Joe can't stop beating records, and we love that for him.
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Moving to the cabbage patch, we have Peter Glazebrook from Nottinghamshire, UK, who currently holds this prestigious title.
His cabbage is 60 pounds and 9.3 ounces.
As we've discovered by going through these veggies, the United Kingdom is up to something. How can so many Brits be growing monster-sized vegetables?
- your favorite American conspiracy theorist
On top of that, he also has the world's largest potato AND eggplant: leave some for the rest of us, Peter!
Sebastian Suski grew the largest cucumber, which measures 3 feet and 8.64 inches.
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You could make so many cucumber sandwiches with this monster, and now we're hungry. Hmm.
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Hi, again, Peter! So, as you know from above, Peter is the king of massive vegetables.
He also holds the title of the world's largest eggplant, rounding out at 6 pounds and 14 ounces. This is one of those natural phenomena we can't explain.
But we know that Peter is doing something magical across the pond. (Peter, if you're reading, we love you, and your mega-veggies).
Will anyone ever beat Peter's eggplant (or other vegetables) record??
We'd imagine this is what the farmers looked like while trying to move their enormous vegetables.
Wait, but a pumpkin is a fruit: WHO CARES! This is the veggie verse, and we're making our own rules.
Unlocking The Secrets To Growing Record-Breaking Produce
Now that you've seen the potential for vegetables in your garden, how do you get them to grow so massive? Well, although we can't promise you your pumpkin will mature into the size of a smart car: we can help you grow bigger produce.
First, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, give your vegetables plenty of everything. Yes, everything.
The sun is your new best friend and the soil in which you plant your future monolith.
Specifically, try and give your vegetables the following luxury treatments:
- Full sun exposure (between 6 and 8 hours daily)
- Plenty of water (but please don't drown your veggies. We'll be sad)
- Well-draining AND nutrient-rich soil
- Plenty of food (aka fertilizer)
As long as your vegetables love their life, you should see them grow bigger than usual. Furthermore, you might even break a record and get the best selfie ever.
Because at the end of the day, if it didn't make it to the Gram, did it even happen?
Here's a TikTok showing somebody's local vegetable competition:
@3countiesshows WE LOVE #giantvegetables 🥬❤️ #placestovisit #autumn #autumnvibes #vegetables #growyourown #sizedoesmatter #fyp #gardening #guinnessworldrecords ♬ Monkeys Spinning Monkeys - Kevin MacLeod & Kevin The Monkey
What would the prize even be for having the largest vegetable? An even bigger one?!
Why A Region In Alaska Keeps Growing Huge Vegetables
One of the weirder twists to this story is that a region in Alaska is constantly breaking records for having the largest veggies.
Specifically, Palmer's Matanuska Valley is where all the green magic happens. Even though Alaska gives us cold and non-vegetable energy, this mystical place holds some powerful record-breaking abilities.
Most notably, Palmer's Matanuska Valley has produced a 138-pound cabbage, a 2,051-pound pumpkin, and a 64-pound carrot.
We're repeating that, a 2,051-pound PUMPKIN.
One of the secrets behind Alaska's regional veggie success is that the Matanuska Valley sees nearly 20 hours of sun daily during summer. DAILY.
Again, we wouldn't love the fact that the sun only goes away for four or fewer hours, but the vegetables and other plants growing are living their best lives.
Sometimes, endless summer days aren't just a thing from Phineas and Ferb (it's a classic).
Here's a short video on YouTube about a local Alaskan cabbage grower, Brian Shunskis:
Do you remember Joe Exotic, the "Tiger King"? Well, Brian is our CABBAGE KING. Brian, we love you; please never stop growing your massive cabbage.
Reaping The Rewards: Harvesting And Enjoying Your Giant Vegetable Crops
Whether you want to cultivate the world's largest cucumber, pumpkin, cabbage, carrot, or whatever other veggie rings your bell: DO IT.
If everyone reading this decides to try and break a world record with their vegetables, one of us will likely achieve it. We'll bet on those odds.
Have any funny veggie stories? Are you one of the people we mentioned, or do you know these agriculture icons?
Leave us a comment below, and don't forget to send this to your family group chat with no context!
We also have some other helpful articles about veggie gardening here: